My Milestones – Nurturing Our Sons’ Sibling Relationship Through ASD, the Holidays and the Future

When my older son Aaron with Asperger’s was young, I immersed myself in ever-evolving goals for him, including school, social skills, comprehension, extracurricular activities and his emotional development. The holiday season always presented such fun and excitement while planning for how to make our Hanukkah celebration meaningful. Our joy expanded when we had our second son Josh, who presented new complexities and made us think through how to make the holiday special for each of them. We wanted to enrich their relationship as brothers and our family traditions, while honoring Aaron’s needs balanced with Josh’s.

As a neurotypical, very energetic child, Josh loved noisy activities and events that could push Aaron’s sensitivities to sound or light into overdrive. Whether he was playing with noisy toys he received as gifts, enjoying loud exhibits at our local museum or mall often accompanied by live music, or begging to go to an IMAX movie, Josh plunged into experiences that could set Aaron’s sensory issues on edge (Aaron still remembers a very loud duckling game that fascinated Josh while haunting him). Aaron’s special interests such as exploring an art museum’s holiday exhibit or the Natural History Museum science hall for hours on end bored Josh endlessly. I found compromises like a foray to the knights in shining armor displays for Josh in between Aaron’s beloved tours of every painting in a gallery, while trying to ignore Josh plopping down on the seat by Aaron’s favorite painting and dramatically sighing for all to hear, “I’m soooo bored!”
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